I, Me, Mine.

I am never happy with what I have. I want more.
I want what I Cannot have. Nothing is more delicious then forbidden fruit.
I must always find fault with things. I cannot accept things as they are.
I must and will always push people away. And blame others for the alienation.
I will suffocate a person, smothering them with too much ME.
I could say words to crush the very soul, being so brutally honest it borders on cruel.
I will not say the things that bother me aloud. Instead they will fester into a volcano of fiery fury.
I don't want to victimize others and I refuse to victimize myself.

I just want to be a Happy Me.

Fin.

2years

Today
Is
My 2YearAnniversary with my Boyfriend.
<3


Fin.

Stress? Yes please.

I just got two shots. My arm hurts, and i wasn't late for work today. What a surprise.

STRESS.
Why do so many of my fellows and I stress so much over things that aren't that important?
Over grades, boys, or in other's cases, girls, work, the commute, and the like.
I think its because we need to feel like the things we do, or the things going on around us are important. That our everyday pettiness is not a waste.
For spending a second on something that is not worth our time during our short lives would be awful. But not worrying about such things would change our lives. We would be mindless and careless and totally useless.
These things that we claim to hate and whatever, give us purpose and pushes us to live our lives as we want. So keep on dreading, hating, loathing, cursing because deep down these things are essential. And hopefully like me, you have someone you can call who will listen.


Fin.

DaytoDay

As I walk down the halls and corridors of my school, I fine myself not content. This is certainly not what I had in mind when i pictured college. I pictured spontaneity, studying, partying, and friends. I am constantly unhappy at school as well as work. I find myself complaining and school tends to be the center of most of my discussions.

I tend to give advise where it is unwanted, many of my friends in fact are not too pleased with your school and are in the same predicament as I, and i constantly seem to be giving positive advise. to "stick with it","try harder", and the such but not until yesterday did I realize,
I, Myself do not take my own advise.

If I am unhappy in my own surrounding, for example, school, i should give it more time, make some friends, and take all that my school has to offer, then make a choice.
However it seems my advise is easier said then done.
I find myself settling with things I am unhappy with.
If I am not happy then what am I? If not disgruntled then?

I find that I am in a DayDream, one that never appears to end. I feel as if I am disappearing, become more of a ghost, a shell of who I was.

Original

myloverSTANDSongoldenSANDSandwatchestheshipsthatgoSAILING<3


I want to be original.
I don't think wanting to be original is very original.
Origin being the base word, so from the start i must have been different for no two people are the same, when did I start to conform?
Quite disturbing how one can take other people's ideas, words, gestures and make them their own without giving credit to those whom we acquired it from.
And If No credit is given, when others steal our stolen actions/words and we are given no credit then it will be as is it we were never alive.
It'll be as if we never spoke or acted. we cannot expect credit when we ourselves did not accredit first.
But why must we give credit? Were we not clever enough to see the good they possess and try to replicate it? And is it not a honor to be followed?
The problem occurs then, Who Should Receive the Honor?



To be Continued.

How Deep Is Your Love?

I really need to learn.
Cause we're living in a world of fools, Breaking Us down
When they all should let us beWe belong to you and me

SUNDAY
Main word -Sun
Day of worship to the Sun, the blazing star in the sky or Son as in the savior in Christian and Catholic religions.
But for me, a day of comflict. constant bickering and quarreling.
I tend to snap, and i know my mood swings are confusing...
I guess its just stress. But i guess its cause my economic situation and also the whole asian parent thing.
sundays are not so relaxed as white people make them out to be

procrasination-flaw?

It has been just about a week since I have received this ridiculous assignment, and I have had FIVE days in which i could have done it. And yet here I am at 130 at night hammering away and adding fluff to my stupid paper.

I wonder every night that I do this, Why is It that I Procrastinate Every Time?

I know that every time i do this, since about the beginning of time. It might have to do with my time management, or how lazy I can be but ultimately I've come to the conclusion that I procrastinate because whatever the thing happens to be, this case a paper, it is not of the utmost priority. If this goodfornothing paper were important to me at all then would I not have done this the first day or even the second?

I know that it is not just I who face this problem, I am not alone but how do I force myself to write this paper before the night that it is due? What is the secret to not procrastinating? And what about all the things that are important that we leave off anyway? Is it one of our tagic flaws? Can a human being not procrastinate?

In Theory it seems rather simple that one can just stop procrastinating but what if one cannot stop and is a part of our makeout, our characteristics, something that makes us different from animals? Animals live off their instincts and live a life of necessity not of luxury, so just like imagination is procrastination something that makes us different from everything else? Or just a product of bad time management?

Today

Today, I seriously considered fleeing the country. To many that might sound funny but then I started to think about our country's economic situation and about my own personal situation. Currently I am in a small personal depression, my wallet is thin, my hands grasp nothing, and I am constantly at unease.
Although if I were to get mugged on the seven one day, the mugger might take pity on me and give me back my stuff. I am quite sure that many of my fellow americans feel the same way, resorting to credit and borrowing from someone, anyone who would give them, some money to feel like life is not so crushingly hard.
But I might have stumbled on an age old secret...
Life's richest pleasures are the costless ones. The master card and many many hallmark cards were right, the experiences and people we hold dear to us are indeed priceless.
So as our economy crumbles, lets enjoy each others company, knowing that even though our pockets might be empty that our hearts are not. Things may be depressing but things deplorable like money should never bring us down.
The self centeredness of myself never ceases to amaze me...
wow did that make sens?